The Gold Given at Dashain
Tika falls on Wednesday 21 October this year, which means most families will gather on the weekend either side. What is given, to whom, and when to order so it is in the house in time.
Dashain runs from Sunday 11 October to Sunday 25 October this year, and tika falls on Wednesday 21 October. Fifteen days, one of which everybody plans around. If you are giving gold this year, this is the point where it stops being early and starts being late.
The awkward part in Australia is that tika day is a Wednesday. Almost nobody takes the day off, so the gatherings shift: some families do tika on Saturday 17 October, more of them on Saturday 24 October, and the Sydney and Melbourne community events land on whichever weekend the hall was free. Ask whoever is hosting before you order anything, because the date you are buying for is probably not the date in the calendar.
Dashain is when gold changes hands. That is the part people outside the community miss: it is not only a festival of new clothes and tika, it is the occasion on which a family gives jewellery. A daughter-in-law's first proper piece. A granddaughter old enough for jhumka. A tilhari for a woman married since the last Dashain. The giving is the tradition, and it is why our October is louder than our December.
For tika day itself, most women wear one substantial piece rather than several. A naugedi or a tilhari sits over whatever you have on, and it is what the photographs catch when you bend to receive tika from an elder. If you own one good piece and wear it once a year, this is the once.
Potey gets restrung for Dashain the way it gets restrung for Teej, and if yours has been in a drawer since last year it is worth doing before the day rather than the night before. The green and the red are not interchangeable and the older women in the room will notice which you are wearing.
For a first gift, jhumka are the standard answer and the right one. They are small enough not to overwhelm a girl who has never worn gold, they are worn at every festival after this one, and they are the piece most Nepali women can date exactly: who gave them, and which Dashain.
For a bride marrying in the Mangsir season that follows, Dashain is when the family starts assembling what she will wear. A sirbandi and a tilhari are not last-minute purchases. If the wedding is in November or December, order now and have it in the house.
The practical part. If you are giving on Saturday 24 October, order by the middle of that week and the piece is in your hand with time to look at it properly. Sydney is two hours from order to door before 7pm; everywhere else in Australia is next day. Every gold piece is hallmarked and arrives with a certificate stating carat and weight, which matters more for a gift than for anything you buy for yourself.
One last thing, said plainly. Buy one good piece rather than three light ones. Dashain gold gets worn at the next Tihar, the next wedding, the next Teej, and then it gets handed down. The tilhari your mother was given is still in the house somewhere. That is the standard the piece has to meet.